I think I almost died today…

So… I rode a new horse today, a thoroughbred. Baby’s a thoroughbred, and I’ve ridden her before so I know those horses are touchy. Rugby (that was the horse I was riding) is a retired racehorse, so yea. I got on him knowing Kitchi (my instructor) puts beginners on him (and with one year of riding experience behind me I don’t consider myself a beginner), so I didn’t expect him to be that one horse that everyone fears because he constantly bucks *cough* LIKE HOOTIE *cough*.

I rode him and he seemed very calm for a thoroughbred, that was until the sun started going down, and I began to canter him. He started acting, sort of… frightened. Kitchi cheeked the woods literally right before we started riding, so it wasn’t anything back there. Then she asked me if I had put fly spray on him. I said no, because around here its starting to get a little too cool for horseflies. NOPE.

So I got him to calm down and he did about one lap calmly. I said “Good boy Rugby”. AND THE MOMENT THOSE WORDS LEFT MY BRAIN HE TOOK OFF LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL. I had the reigns tightened to the point where I was almost holding the bit, SITTING FLAT ON MY BUTT PULLING BACK AND HE WOULD NOT SLOW. THE. FUCK. DOWN. Then we came to a turn and he twist-bucked (he twisted his back while bucking), and I don’t normally get phased by bucks BUT THIS HORSE WAS GOING SO GODAMN FAST I BOTH STIRUPS (and for those of you non-riders I JUST LOST HOLD OF THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME ON THE SADDLE). By now, if he wasn’t galloping, I don’t know what the fuck a gallop is. So then I was galloping without stirrups, and I realized I was doomed. I screamed some words my mother told me never to say, (btw, more advice for non-riders NEVER EVER UNDER ANY POSSIBLE CIRCUMSTANCE UNLESS YOU ARE ABSOLUTLY POSITIVE YOU ARE GOING TO FALL/JUMP OFF A HORSE YELL/SCREAM/RAISE YOUR VOICE WHILE RIDING) and then face-planted into some mane, and ate some dirt (Im like 50% sure I saw Frank before I fell, too). I think I broke (or at least cracked) a bone in my arm.

OH BUT TH WASNT EVEN THE BEST PART

On the way home I heard that song that longtail sings in the This…Is…GRAYSTRIPE video. And so I said “Hahaha, its longtail!”
Mom: “Okay you have a concussion.”
Me: “MOOOOOOM I’M FIIIIIIIINE.”
Mom: “You’re seeing warrior cats, okay that perfectly normal.”
Me: “No no no, There’s an awesome youtube video with longtail singing the first 5 seconds of this song. I’ll show you as soon as we get home!”
Mom: “We aren’t going home!”
Me: “MOM I AM ABSOLUTLY 100% FINE!”
So we continued until we got to the intersection where we could see patient first, but by then I had convinced her that every single bone/muscle in my body was unphased by the giant fall I had taken.

(to b continued)

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4 thoughts on “I think I almost died today…

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